The next day we had to travel to another city for some work. I was happy that somehow i had managed to complete my puja before leaving from home. The journey from our place to the city was almost 4 to 5 hour long. i had planned to read my favorite spiritual book . But i couldn’t read that, still clue less about why i was acting so strange.
After reaching to the city we did tried to finish our work as soon as possible and it also got done on time. So shopping was the first thing came in my mind, but unlike other times, this time my husband was all cool about it as if he wanted me to go for shopping, and this much push was enough to allow myself to get lost in these shops web. Again i didn’t realize where time flew away and it was already evening without much shopping, By now i felt strongly that something is wrong with me. Imagine, it took me almost a day and half to understand that something is wrong. And i knew exactly what i do always just started my chanting irrespective where and how i was, which I could not do this time in travelling. We got the bus and reached home. By the time we reached home I was dead tired and directly went to sleep. My sleep wasn’t normal that night; i could feel so hot that in the temperature of 5 degree Celsius i was sweating but i managed to focus myself to chant and somehow chanting made me fall asleep.
Next morning i was unusually tired then being fresh. i did update all this to one of Guru’s disciple. But by now my mom had messaged me to call her; as she has been worried about one of a relative. I called my mom, who was already into one fixed mind set and in a specific energy. She started about her and had no patience to hear me out even when she herself asked me my opinion about it. I had never seen my mom like this because she is the most clam women i have ever seen, we spoke for almost hour and she kept narrating me how my poor relative is in trouble.
We spoke and spoke and spoke and I suddenly felt that I had no connection in this conversation but I was tangled in it, so tried to change the topic by advising my mother that she shouldn’t be biased and must keep both parties in equal level. After diverting the topic we had some spiritual conversation but suddenly my mother got some work and we hung up. After hanging up her call i could feel extreme amount of fear. I surrendered the conversation and also got myself out of it earlier than before so i was considering myself safe from the effect of our conversation. Still the fear continued wasn’t looking normal so I called my Guru. He could sense from my voice what had gone wrong and asked me to do some immediate remedies and I had little relief, so I decided to continue with my routine household work.
It was as strange as it sounds. But the strangeness wasn’t over yet. The whole day i was suffering from little body pain and could hardly focus on my jaap. But I still tried to do as much as i could. Even chanting the mantra once was taking away my breath. i knew i had done some mistake but my brain was so drain that thinking about it wasn’t possible only. Whole day i felt little lost and from within i could feel hollowness. In my opinion hollowness had no meaning or any reason. I went off to sleep and the most strange experience was about to begin.
My dreams were so strange and scary that my body could feel the fear, i suddenly saw my mother in the form of negativity and even though i love her so much, her negativity had scared me like anything, it was just few hours since i had slept but i real the whole night was almost over. The morning dew must have just arrived on earth but for me it was dark as moonless night, because of fear my body was shivering, all I wanted to get up and get out of it after a long struggle I suddenly opened my eyes and experienced something i couldn’t believe, the one of the most awaiting lesson of my spiritual journey, I saw a form coming out of me. I felt the shock and i was at the peak of my fear. I couldn’t understand anything but i was so scared that going back to sleep was the easiest escape from it was for me. i went back to sleep and suddenly my sleep was back to normal. it was already morning but as if i was sleeping after months.