“Thoughts” surprisingly I never bothered myself to give any thought to my thoughts. It happened always that it kept coming in my mind and then drove me away in it’s craft, I never knew how powerful it was unless by meditation and my guru’s guidance I got an opportunity to receive maa’s grace and got myself witness the changes these thoughts do to me, it was beyond I could have ever imagined or thought, it was vast. It appeared that, these thoughts have tremendous capacity to grow, make web which becomes base for another thought . In this way it keep creating one to another, a mechanism which is so well designed that it only need the start and will follow to create another universe.
At first it scared me like hell, because all I could understand from it that it’s a trap which is already started and will go on like this forever and did not know the way to escape. I started to remember “which was my first thought why did I even think of it, how amazing my life would have been if I could have stopped myself then?” But somewhere down my heart I knew it wasn’t possible.
But how i became aware of THOUGHTS ? It started with the chanting of right mantra.Well in the beginning I thought like always “I thought” jaap is more like pooja Aur any other spiritual exercise but what i understood gradually than a right mantra is lot more then just this.
After practicing jaap for some time i understood that we can control the mind and slowly gradually it start revealing the science of thoughts. Though it took little long or seemed long because i was new to this, but slowly gradually it started happening. I wasn’t alone in this journey, I had my guru, helping me in every step of spiritually with the grace of MAA.
We went ahead well and it started that I could feel distance from my thoughts but one fine day due to laziness, I happened to miss my chanting and this much time was enough for my thoughts to start it’s own usual world of analysis, comparison, expectations and disturb me so hard so that I could not sit for my jaap . Because mind or you can say maya knew very well that jaap will destroy it’s existence in my life, and trust me no one likes breakups.
After internal struggle with myself I was back on track with my conscious effort. Now whenever I felt that my jaap is going weak I check what i did wrong in my mind and correct it within without looking at others for correction. Because it is me who gets disturbed with my thoughts not the other person. I then started understanding the value of jaap, even though the science behind it is too vast but I somehow started figuring out that what all really impact on my thought process. I found that the kind of people I talk, what I talk, what I eat, when I eat, what I read, hear or watch, what I do everything in 24 hours of my day (“yes! that includes my sleep as well !!) had an impression in my mind. So I decided to stay away from all of these. It is kind of detox – “an spiritual detoxification” . It worked !! Infect it worked wonders, my imaginations were changing , my interests were changing ,I was changing ,my sleep was lot better than past so do my chanting. With time I started many of those things which were feeding my thoughts but by now I was lot more mature or in more secure place and lot more connected to my guru with the string of faith , so thoughts were not troubling me much.
Thoughts still come and try to take me on a ride , sometimes they do get successful but then I know it’s just a process and it won’t last forever . Because now I don’t believe in it or you can say i do not give importance to unnecessary thoughts. I just keep on working on my inner self with my japa, good books, satsang and good work. Thanks to the My ishta devi and Guru – they made me believe in reality, which is beyond the normal perception. Reality is very difficult to experience and also very easy, but to value this one must go through the phase of thoughts world, which keep going on but with time will hold no values, like an memory of your childhood crush which might be somewhere in your thoughts but has no value today. Yess it also made me introduce to “TODAY”.
By : A Devotee